


Even the Stars Die

by tsukkiaf (haizukis)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Kuroo is a nurse, M/M, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-04-08 03:19:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4288740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haizukis/pseuds/tsukkiaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“They close my curtains every night,” he sighed. “I really missed looking at the stars.” </p><p>Kuroo turned from the bed to look at the sky. Stars cluttered the sky, and seemed to dance across the dark expanse of night. </p><p>“Will you come back tomorrow, Kuroo?” </p><p>Kuroo looked to face Tsukishima, who continued to gaze past him out the window. </p><p>“Of course.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even the Stars Die

**Author's Note:**

> hahahahah super late subission for kurotsuki week 
> 
> be forewarned everything is super vague 
> 
> day 4: stargazing
> 
> I've been settling scores // I've been fighting so long  
> But I've lost your war // And our kingdom is [gone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sp7PS_UN8Lo)

The hospital didn't feel much different at night.

Leaving for work at 10 P.M. was a new experience for Kuroo. He had worked the morning shift for nearly two years until he was promoted to a supervisor for the graveyard crew. Learning to wake himself up at times when he was usually falling asleep took some getting used to but he didn't mind waking up to greet the moon hanging in the night sky.

Kuroo's ward was quiet tonight, though here was never true silence in hospitals; machines were always whirring, IVs were always dripping.

His job was simple. Organize the crew's work, and periodically check in on the patients who had shown recent signs of worsening health. The list changed nearly every day, as some patients pull through their bad days while others don’t.

Kuroo clocked in and made his way to his desk, the list of on-watch patients freshly printed and stapled left on his desk. He quickly scanned the list and nearly put it back down before reading through it again.

One name caught his eye. One name that he hoped that he would never have to see on that list.

_Tsukishima Kei_

_Room M538_

 ~

“Kuroo?”

The dark haired nurse froze at the sound of his name.

“You’re not asleep yet?”

“I’m usually never asleep at this hour.”

Kuroo approached the patient's bed. “You okay?”

Tsukishima didn’t look at him. “Am I ever okay?”

A silence fell between them, letting only the soft whirring of machines fill the room.

The blonde lay flat on his bed, his face turned towards the curtained window of his room.

Tsukishima inhaled slowly before speaking. Kuroo nearly cringed at how labored his breathing sounded.

“Why are you here so late? Don’t you work the morning shift?”

“I got promoted. I’m the supervisor of this shift now.”

“Can you do me a favor?”

Kuroo gave a soft smile. “Of course.”

“Open those curtains.”

The brunette watched the boy in the bed for a moment before crossing to the window to pull the thick curtains to the side. Light flooded into the room, illuminating Tsukishima’s face.

The blonde wistfully drank in the sight of the night sky, the corners of his mouth upturned ever so slightly.

“They close my curtains every night,” he sighed. “I really missed looking at the stars.”

Kuroo turned from the bed to look at the sky. Stars cluttered the sky, and seemed to dance across the dark expanse of night.

“Will you come back tomorrow, Kuroo?”

Kuroo looked to face Tsukishima, who continued to gaze past him out the window.

“Of course.”

~

Kuroo would never for get how Tsukishima was when he was first omitted into the hospital.

Kuroo would walk into his room with his afternoon medication to find him sitting up in bed with large headphones covering his ears. In the beginning Tsukishima had been kind of bitter, not in the bad sense, just that didn't want to talk to _anyone_. Kuroo realized then how much he wanted to befriend him; he had seen too many people go out without having made a friend in the hospital. It was sad, and Kuroo didn't want that for anyone, so when he saw the chance he just had to take it. 

That turned into Kuroo trying to get him to talk. He'd get one worded answers until finally, he brought up something that Tsukishima apparently loved. They had the most in-depth conversation that day and that was the first time he saw Tsukishima smile and the first time Kuroo’s heart skipped a beat. It was the day he realized he may be screwed. Kuroo wanted even more now for Tsukishima to get healthier so he could live a fulfilling life, maybe even with Kuroo. But he knew what the odds were so that meant Kuroo needed to be sure Tsukishima was living life to the fullest, or as much as you can live life to the fullest in a hospital.

~

“Do you have a favorite star, Tsukishima?”

The two sat upright together on the bed facing the window. Kuroo tried to visit him every night to open his curtains and talk to him about the stars. Tsukishima insisted that he felt better with each passing day, showing Kuroo by sitting up. Still, he needed to rest most of his weight on the nurse's arm and shoulder.

"No," he answered after a moment. "There's too many to pick from."

"I like that one," Kuroo stated pointing up at the brightest spec.

"That's not a star," Tsukishima corrected. Kuroo swore he heard the smile playing on his lips as he spoke. "That's Venus."

The older boy squinted up at the unwavering spec. "How can you tell?"

"Stars twinkle, planets don't. Plus, Venus is the second brightest object in the night sky, right behind the moon," the blonde explained. "If you catch Venus at the right time, you can usually find Jupiter as well. Look."

He lifted his hand and pointed to the two unblinking objects hanging in the sky.

“You know a lot about astrology, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Tsukishima answered softly. “Stars and dinosaurs were kinda my thing.”

Kuroo chuckled. “Dinosaurs?”

Tsukishima fought the smile playing on his lips. “Dinosaurs.”

The two sat quietly, looking up at the sky. Kuroo had looked at the stars before, but somehow they seemed different when he sat next to Tsukishima. The stars seemed to dance with each other, shining brightly as they swept across the sky. Kuroo almost felt as if he and Tsukishima were floating in space together amongst the never ender clusters of light.

A cold hand squeezing his wrist brought Kuroo back to earth.

“Did you know stars die too?”

~

Kuroo didn’t want to look at the moon or the stars anymore.

Whenever he walked from his car to the employees entrance of the hospital, he kept his eyes trained on the ground beneath him rather than the sky above.

As Kuroo made his routine sweep around the room of patients, he paused by room M583.

Tsukishima’s name had stopped appearing on the watch list only a few nights ago.

Some part of him deep down wanted to open the door to find Tsukishima pushing himself off up his bed to look out the window. Kuroo wanted to see him, at least one more time, bathed in the light of the moon and stars.

He gripped the cool metal door handle and pushed the door open.

The room felt eerily quiet without the medical equipment on. The bed was stripped down, the clean linen sheets folded neatly at the foot of the mattress, awaiting the next patient.

Kuroo shuffled over to the window -- someone had left the curtain open -- and slowly tilted his face towards the sky.

It looked as though even the stars were grieving, hiding behind the thick blankets of clouds, refusing to come out and dance.

He pulled the curtains back over the window before he turned to walk out of the room.

~

Kuroo looked down at the cold piece of stone embedded in the ground with Tsukishima’s name engraved upon it.

He had been meaning to visit Tsukishima’s grave for some time now, but wanted to wait until he could come on a clear night so he could see the sky.

“I don’t have much to say,” he whispered after a moment. “I, ah didn’t know you for very long. A few months at the most. I used to talk about you a lot to my roommate. One day I was going on and on, talking about you and he interrupted me and asked if I loved you.”

Kuroo bit his lip, trying to stop the tear from spilling onto his cheeks.  

“I said no. If he asked me right now I’d probably say no again. I think the thing that suck the most about this entire thing is that I could’ve loved you. If we hadn’t met at a hospital only a few months ago. If we had met in a different universe where you weren’t sick, even if you had a few more months, I could’ve fallen in love with you.”

The brunette crouched and put his face in his hands.

“I could see us falling in love and going on dates and waking up in the mornings pressed against each other, Tsukishima. I would give anything to find out what that would’ve been like.”

He glanced down at the headstone before looking up at the sky.

“I can’t look look at the stars anymore without thinking about you,” he said. “Whenever I look out my window when I wake up, I see all the constellations you told me about, and I feel like I can almost hear you talking.”

Kuroo scanned the sky and found Venus and Jupiter hanging in the sky together just like they were the when Tsukishima told him about the difference between planets and stars.

"I know you said stars die too, but I really wanted yours to keep burning."

Kuroo watched the stars dance and paused when he noticed a prominent spec of light dancing near the moon. He felt ridiculous, thinking that he had never seen that star before. He couldn't logically process it, but the tight feeling in his chest made him feel unsure.

He shook his head, unable to stop the smile pulling at his lips.

“Looks like your light didn’t go out after all.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> YEAH okay so I thought this up a while ago and I was super pumped to write it but I AM SO dissatisfyed w/ it please comment and tell me what you think bc this fic has literally been fckin w/ my writing confidence thank you for reading
> 
> a part of this was written by [Elly](http://hqhaikyuu.tumblr.com/)bc I literally could not write thank you Elly


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